Learning Fatigue - It’s Real

If you're a lifelong learner like me, stretches of learning and applying new skills may be punctuated by fatigue and anxiety now and again. That shouldn't sound surprising, but I learned that this the hard way - abruptly this weekend.

A few weeks ago, a dear friend of mine got me a 2000 piece jigsaw puzzle of the planets in our Milky Way galaxy. I was thrilled and thankful! Over the course of the week, I noticed tiny spikes of anxiety during puzzling. My chest was tightening, a felt a wave of dread in my mind. Rather than ignore it, I started breathing deeply thorough my diaphragm and began conducting an internal investigation of the source of it. I came up clueless. Yes, there were changes afoot in my professional life, but I had made peace with them. My relationships were healthy and I was not ill. I turned over all those mental rocks and felt consciously solid. Hmm.

My husband suggested the probable cause - mental exertion brought on by spending too much time on puzzling. I took his advice and took a break. I start back on my knitting! Additionally, I dust off Chopin's Nocturne and dedicate more time to that. I also start interval running with the dogs on the trails behind our house. Things improve!

Fast forward 3 weeks. The changes being contemplated at work are finalized. I assume a new larger role at work, running a subsidiary operation. It's an exciting experience requiring massive learning around the organization which I love. I also endure long hours, unexpected internet outages, my first ever media appearance, and a small level of staff strife. My husband is also on day 5 with Covid By Friday, I am pretty spent. I need some time to unwind.

So I take Friday afternoon off and head to the yarn store to 1) Have an expert show me how to fix some mistakes I made on my mitts and 2) to get more yarn and needles for my next project, a bulky cowl just in time for the colder months.

I arrive at home, pour myself a glass of wine, take two sips, and promptly pull out the mitts Patrice helped me fix to finish so I could sew them together and be done with first never ending project. I am determined to start to the cowl. All the while I am listening to Jodi Picoult and Jennifer Finney Boyland's new book on Audible.

While absorbed in the plot of Mad Honey, I realize I forgot to count my rows on the mitt, and frustratingly try to decrease stitches to get back on track. After several attempts, the mitt is in worse shape than before I took it to Patrice! I throw it to the side and instead of breathing and taking a break, naturally I unpack the new skeine for the cowl and form a large colorful ball. Within 2 rows of working, I mistakenly did not work "in the round" correctly and unravel what I was working on. Disgusted, I ready for bed. My husband is asleep in the bedroom, so rather than head upstairs, I go to sleep right there on the couch.

After 5 or so hours of sleep, I wake up forlorn, teary eyed and defeated. While making banana pancakes that morning, I officially melt down. Thankfully, my husband talks me off the ledge, gently helping me divine this newfound (but likely obvious to many) wisdom.

After all my learnings, I have not learned how to unwind. Every attempt at relaxing involves some activity that required mental exertion. Piano, puzzling, knitting, reading, writing,

We all deserves a break. While it's exciting to learn new things, pace yourself. For all those agilists out there, reduce your personal WIP limit!

This mornings plan? I'm going to leave it open.